Hello,
Domestic goddess on the prowl! Oh yeah! Yesterday I did something truly impossible that I'm still coming to terms with my amazingness. I unclogged a kitchen sink.
I know what your thinking, isn't it men that normally have those kinds of jobs, including unblocking toilets and fitting new lightbulbs. But no yesterday I was all man.
The sink was blocked, probably partly because of the fat I had earlier poured down the sink but to be honest at Uni with the amount of goop that goes down that drain im surprised it doesn't get clogged more often. I was summoned to the kitchen to arrive to find a sink filled with warm water, up to them brim. Therefore I could not put any more hot water in the sink.
I open the cupboard underneath the sink to see if I could do anything with the pipes to disperse the gunky, fatty, food mass. I was faced with a huge puddle of water at the bottom of the shelf, water falling between the masses of plastic bags stored under the sink. Water was dripping from the pipes and falling into the open space. It smelled awful, I had to hold my breath to clear out eh soggy bags.
I thought about what to do next and decided to pour bleach down the sink through the water to see if that would work. At first nothing happened so I left to ask the advise of my other flatmates. Upon our return, we arrived to an empty unblocked sink. I was amazed! I was then left to clear the overflowing cupboard puddle and mop up the water all over the floor.
I placed towels on the bottom layer of the shelf and mopped up the extra water with jay clothes and finished by mopping the kitchen floor. Job well done I think, and for a beginner I am proud of what I did.
Goodnight.
Saturday, 1 February 2014
Saturday, 25 January 2014
Rant of Anger
Describing anger isn't something I would ever enjoy writing about but you have to be passionate to write the best things.
When I get angry I feel as if I could literally burst. Anyone who really knows me knows I am not confrontational and never have been so when I get close to answering back you know you've hit a nerve. It hits my chest and my breathing becomes erratic and I will only speak few words incase I say something I will later regret. The phrase biting your tounge can become very literal and shaking with anger can often set in.
There are things you can be rightfully angry about that I could understand, like murder or crime acts of injustice that nobody will stand for, but why is it the petit things in life that give the most reaction.
As this blog was intended to be for talking about my experiences at Uni this is what I will continue to write about. Moving in at the beginning of the year is very exciting and you meet lots of people from all over the place. The problem is you have no decision on who you live with most of the time. For most people you find someone who shares interest or who you get on with but who can honestly ever say if they had met these people back home they would be as close friends as they are now? Would you ever consider living with them.
Don't get me wrong living with my housemates now has taught me a lot of new things and if any of them were in trouble I would help them out and be there. But I could tell you face to face one to one that if I had to name them in order of who I would most likely want to never see again for the rest of my life first I'd be able to do it.
Can someone remind me how old I am? Can someone explain to me how if you think I am no better than a child I was able to get into University? I often believe that people rate themselves against others and it has all begun to get a bit competitive, which is very wrong. I got onto this course just as much as you did, I am at this university and I got my place in the same way you did, so what makes you think you are better than me?
I hate writing like this because I feel like I'm being mean and two-faced but often the reasons I don't say these things is because I don't like confrontation or causing arguments. Id love a world where every thought you have must be spoken because the world would be a much nicer place. I'd love to be able to sit in a circle and know I could speak my mind and no harm would come from it then I could carry on with my life as if nothing has happened. There are moments where I wish I could just scream and cry or run home but I want to gain independence. But if that means it takes a little longer for me then so be it.
Everyone started life before they came here at a different stage. I never did much cooking or washing up or clothes washing or general housework, so the transformation for me has been pretty drastic. I have never been away from home for more than a week and whilst I was at home pretty much everything was done for me. I know I still haven't got the hang of it all but I'm learning so give me the chance to make mistakes again and again until I either get into trouble or something happens to make me change. I know my will power is basically non-existent but that is me and that will probably never change, I do things when I want to.
Okay rant over. This is very long and doesn't really show much writing talent but its me expressing myself which is why I created this blog to begin with. I feel a little like I'm writing the Burn Book from mean girls, but hey I am a girl and I have the right to be bitchy when I want to.
Next week, I always say this, next week Ill try again to get my life in an order that it should be. Ill make lists goals and try to stick to them although I know in the end ill be just like I started like 4 or 5 days ago. Oh well it's not like I'm hurting anyone other than myself and I've had enough experience of that to last a lifetime so that isn't going to worry me.
Goodnight.
When I get angry I feel as if I could literally burst. Anyone who really knows me knows I am not confrontational and never have been so when I get close to answering back you know you've hit a nerve. It hits my chest and my breathing becomes erratic and I will only speak few words incase I say something I will later regret. The phrase biting your tounge can become very literal and shaking with anger can often set in.
There are things you can be rightfully angry about that I could understand, like murder or crime acts of injustice that nobody will stand for, but why is it the petit things in life that give the most reaction.
As this blog was intended to be for talking about my experiences at Uni this is what I will continue to write about. Moving in at the beginning of the year is very exciting and you meet lots of people from all over the place. The problem is you have no decision on who you live with most of the time. For most people you find someone who shares interest or who you get on with but who can honestly ever say if they had met these people back home they would be as close friends as they are now? Would you ever consider living with them.
Don't get me wrong living with my housemates now has taught me a lot of new things and if any of them were in trouble I would help them out and be there. But I could tell you face to face one to one that if I had to name them in order of who I would most likely want to never see again for the rest of my life first I'd be able to do it.
Can someone remind me how old I am? Can someone explain to me how if you think I am no better than a child I was able to get into University? I often believe that people rate themselves against others and it has all begun to get a bit competitive, which is very wrong. I got onto this course just as much as you did, I am at this university and I got my place in the same way you did, so what makes you think you are better than me?
I hate writing like this because I feel like I'm being mean and two-faced but often the reasons I don't say these things is because I don't like confrontation or causing arguments. Id love a world where every thought you have must be spoken because the world would be a much nicer place. I'd love to be able to sit in a circle and know I could speak my mind and no harm would come from it then I could carry on with my life as if nothing has happened. There are moments where I wish I could just scream and cry or run home but I want to gain independence. But if that means it takes a little longer for me then so be it.
Everyone started life before they came here at a different stage. I never did much cooking or washing up or clothes washing or general housework, so the transformation for me has been pretty drastic. I have never been away from home for more than a week and whilst I was at home pretty much everything was done for me. I know I still haven't got the hang of it all but I'm learning so give me the chance to make mistakes again and again until I either get into trouble or something happens to make me change. I know my will power is basically non-existent but that is me and that will probably never change, I do things when I want to.
Okay rant over. This is very long and doesn't really show much writing talent but its me expressing myself which is why I created this blog to begin with. I feel a little like I'm writing the Burn Book from mean girls, but hey I am a girl and I have the right to be bitchy when I want to.
Next week, I always say this, next week Ill try again to get my life in an order that it should be. Ill make lists goals and try to stick to them although I know in the end ill be just like I started like 4 or 5 days ago. Oh well it's not like I'm hurting anyone other than myself and I've had enough experience of that to last a lifetime so that isn't going to worry me.
Goodnight.
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Home is where the heart is
Hello there,
Another week has been passing and I'm properly settled into Uni again.
Coming back after Christmas has made me realise who I really love spending time with but has also helped me to see I am looking forward to being back in halls again next year. I've been getting on with my work for once which can be rare for me and in general I'm not missing home as much.
When you take a moment to think, I realise I know hardly anything about the people I live with and go to class with but I feel more at ease with them every time we meet up. The more lessons I go to the more work I do to becoming a teacher the more I realise I'm going to love my job once I'm qualified and that what I do both at home and at Uni is beginning to feel like me.
There are few people I used to be able to name that I thought cared about me and would be there if I needed them, but over Christmas and beyond talking to those around me I have seen that maybe there are more people out there for me than I realise. And that makes me feel pretty blessed to know the people I love care about me too. Id like to say the people I thought just knew me as a part of a larger whole now see me as a friend because there are many back home who I consider my friends although I may never be the one to tell them.
Growing up has always been something I never intended to do in a hurry but I enjoy my own company and that of other people. I may not be a big drinker or clubber, but I do enjoy a party a dance and a social gathering. I love being the one holding you back as you throw up or giving you a hug when you feel down and I get much more satisfaction from that than partying till god knows what time in the morning.
This term introduces me to History, R.E, Geography, Languages, D.T whilst continuing with all my core subjects as well as Placement, 4 assignment hand ins and an E-safety lecture. Scary to think I have finished PSHE, music and art for this year and only have one session left of P.E.
I love writing on my blog and never really know exactly what to talk about, I guess I'll just let you know if anything interesting happens. Please keep in contact back home. I will always reply to your messages as Im never far from my phone or laptop these days. Lots of love.
Goodnight.
Another week has been passing and I'm properly settled into Uni again.
Coming back after Christmas has made me realise who I really love spending time with but has also helped me to see I am looking forward to being back in halls again next year. I've been getting on with my work for once which can be rare for me and in general I'm not missing home as much.
When you take a moment to think, I realise I know hardly anything about the people I live with and go to class with but I feel more at ease with them every time we meet up. The more lessons I go to the more work I do to becoming a teacher the more I realise I'm going to love my job once I'm qualified and that what I do both at home and at Uni is beginning to feel like me.
There are few people I used to be able to name that I thought cared about me and would be there if I needed them, but over Christmas and beyond talking to those around me I have seen that maybe there are more people out there for me than I realise. And that makes me feel pretty blessed to know the people I love care about me too. Id like to say the people I thought just knew me as a part of a larger whole now see me as a friend because there are many back home who I consider my friends although I may never be the one to tell them.
Growing up has always been something I never intended to do in a hurry but I enjoy my own company and that of other people. I may not be a big drinker or clubber, but I do enjoy a party a dance and a social gathering. I love being the one holding you back as you throw up or giving you a hug when you feel down and I get much more satisfaction from that than partying till god knows what time in the morning.
This term introduces me to History, R.E, Geography, Languages, D.T whilst continuing with all my core subjects as well as Placement, 4 assignment hand ins and an E-safety lecture. Scary to think I have finished PSHE, music and art for this year and only have one session left of P.E.
I love writing on my blog and never really know exactly what to talk about, I guess I'll just let you know if anything interesting happens. Please keep in contact back home. I will always reply to your messages as Im never far from my phone or laptop these days. Lots of love.
Goodnight.
Friday, 17 January 2014
Hanging on the Telephone
Hello,
I don't really know how to start this week. I'm at one of those points everyone gets. Im sad, but for no incredible reason. Nothing big is wrong, nothing has happened and Im perfectly happy with how my day and week has been going yet it doesn't stop the tears.
You know those times when all you want is a conversation with someone who fully understands you. There are few people in ones life who you can feel comfortable calling just to chat without it being awkward or without them truly understanding and comforting you.
The moment comes when you pass through the contacts on your phone, selecting your victims whom you search to gain happiness from. You dial the number and let the phone ring, and ring and ring...
Nobody picks up.
I'm not going to pretend that annoys me because people are busy, I get busy, I don't always answer calls but at that specific moment its like that was the most important phone call in the world.
Let me give an example. 2 years ago I was at college, I was in my second year and had started a new course in science and everything was going okay I would have been 17 years old. I had finished my lesson and walked away from class to go home. I approached the stairs just round the corner from my classroom and was on my phone. I fell down the stairs hurting my ankle. I couldn't stand very well or continue walking down the stairs. I called everyone in my phone book from college and nobody answered. I felt alone. A couple of minutes later my teacher a shortish man came out of his room to go downstairs. He asked if I was okay, I gave a quick explanation then burst into tears. I was humiliated.
He walked me to reception and called my dad to drive and get me. Nobody had answered my calls or responded. It may not always seem important to answer a call but at that moment it was.
Which got me thinking, who knows why someone may be calling. There could be a time when Ive been kidnapped or stabbed or raped and I only have time to make one call. I may choose you, and if you don't pick up something awful could happen.
Morbid I know. Just wanted to say that sometimes a phone call may be someone reaching out for help and it may not be important to you but to your caller it could be the most important second in their lives at that very moment.
On a happier ending this week I've really got the chance to speak to more people for longer at uni and have begun seeing a future with friends that I make here which at first I didn't imagine was going to happen. Life is looking up, even amongst down days like today.
Goodnight.
I don't really know how to start this week. I'm at one of those points everyone gets. Im sad, but for no incredible reason. Nothing big is wrong, nothing has happened and Im perfectly happy with how my day and week has been going yet it doesn't stop the tears.
You know those times when all you want is a conversation with someone who fully understands you. There are few people in ones life who you can feel comfortable calling just to chat without it being awkward or without them truly understanding and comforting you.
The moment comes when you pass through the contacts on your phone, selecting your victims whom you search to gain happiness from. You dial the number and let the phone ring, and ring and ring...
Nobody picks up.
I'm not going to pretend that annoys me because people are busy, I get busy, I don't always answer calls but at that specific moment its like that was the most important phone call in the world.
Let me give an example. 2 years ago I was at college, I was in my second year and had started a new course in science and everything was going okay I would have been 17 years old. I had finished my lesson and walked away from class to go home. I approached the stairs just round the corner from my classroom and was on my phone. I fell down the stairs hurting my ankle. I couldn't stand very well or continue walking down the stairs. I called everyone in my phone book from college and nobody answered. I felt alone. A couple of minutes later my teacher a shortish man came out of his room to go downstairs. He asked if I was okay, I gave a quick explanation then burst into tears. I was humiliated.
He walked me to reception and called my dad to drive and get me. Nobody had answered my calls or responded. It may not always seem important to answer a call but at that moment it was.
Which got me thinking, who knows why someone may be calling. There could be a time when Ive been kidnapped or stabbed or raped and I only have time to make one call. I may choose you, and if you don't pick up something awful could happen.
Morbid I know. Just wanted to say that sometimes a phone call may be someone reaching out for help and it may not be important to you but to your caller it could be the most important second in their lives at that very moment.
On a happier ending this week I've really got the chance to speak to more people for longer at uni and have begun seeing a future with friends that I make here which at first I didn't imagine was going to happen. Life is looking up, even amongst down days like today.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Happy New Year
Hello,
Again left my blog too long but I have wanted to spend as much time as possible with those I love whilst I'm back home for the Christmas holidays, as well as doing a lot of assignment work.
So... 2013 is almost over, I do have to say as I'm getting older I have noticed the weeks, months and years seem to fly by a lot quicker than they used to. Christmas used to take forever to come around but it seems to have sped round again.
I knew I would have too much to say on the matter of new year so thought I would write it all down here where I can babble for as long as I like.
This year has been amazing for me, one of the biggest highlights being getting into University and then making the move to Cheltenham. It wasn't what I expected and it still isn't but I'm beginning to make some great friendships and see that there could be some people I see being lifelong friends, which is always a positive (just hope they feel the same). I never even imagined I would get into University, let alone to do something that makes me feel so excited. Moving away was exciting but absolutely blooming terrifying. I needed to do it and I'm glad I did and over time I am sure it will turn me into the person I should and want to be. Here's to university turning me into a teacher!
One major thing for me was FAME! I got to be a principle and play a character very close to my own persona, but seriously I really don't eat as much as Mabel. I delved into a whole new style of singing and loved it. I stepped out of my shell when finally on stage by adding movement rather than just standing and swaying in the back. Don't get me wrong I love swaying on any stage but to be at the front made me proud with excitement. My top moment of those 4 days was the curtain down on the last performance. I was already crying just as the finale began and was battling back tears so I could see during the last moments of choreography. But once the bows were over and we froze, allowing the curtain to come down one last time. I stopped, centered myself, took one breath, and turned straight to one of my best and most loyal friends. There were no words, we fell into the tightest hug and sobbed, it was one of the most special moments in my life and I miss her very much when I am away. Nobody could have changed how I felt. It was like one of those magic moments in a movie when there is pure bliss and everything goes silent but the energy of that moment continues. Silent happiness.
I learnt how to drive and passed both my tests first time. I completed all my college courses even though there were teachers who doubted I could even pass let alone move on to University to do my dream job. They doubted me which is probably one reason why I doubt myself. But my college tutor really pushed me to do my best and I miss her very much. Apart from my parents she has been the one person who strived to make me do my best for me! To make sure I was doing what I wanted and that I was loving it. I was always be in debt to her as the reason I have got where I am today and I wish I had told her more. She is probably one of the people who has seen me cry the most.
I went through some hard times this year. I think I'm ready to talk about. around About the summertime I begun counselling. It didn't last a huge amount of time and at the moment I don't need to see anyone but I needed guidance. Those around me thought there was something wrong with how I learnt which jeopardised my dreams of being a teacher and there were mentions of depression. I do not think I was ever depressed I just have very negative thoughts. When left alone I always seem to imagine the worst. I thought those who were my friends hated me, that they talked about me behind my back. Whilst at Uni these past few months I have begun experiencing panic attacks and the negative thoughts continued which is why I started this blog and it has helped a lot. Some people say I am too personal on here but if you really know me you'll know I could tell you just about everything about me if you let me.
I have nothing to hide plain and simple. I write so much thinking nobody will read this whole thing, and I don't mind. I write it for me, anyone who reads it and gets enjoyment from it is just a bonus in my eyes.
I will leave resolutions for another time as I know I will most certainly break them. Please leave me comments or send me a message I love reading them and hearing what people think of my writing. Id rather that than silent readers.
Thank you for being here, please continue to read on next year.
Goodnight.
Again left my blog too long but I have wanted to spend as much time as possible with those I love whilst I'm back home for the Christmas holidays, as well as doing a lot of assignment work.
So... 2013 is almost over, I do have to say as I'm getting older I have noticed the weeks, months and years seem to fly by a lot quicker than they used to. Christmas used to take forever to come around but it seems to have sped round again.
I knew I would have too much to say on the matter of new year so thought I would write it all down here where I can babble for as long as I like.
This year has been amazing for me, one of the biggest highlights being getting into University and then making the move to Cheltenham. It wasn't what I expected and it still isn't but I'm beginning to make some great friendships and see that there could be some people I see being lifelong friends, which is always a positive (just hope they feel the same). I never even imagined I would get into University, let alone to do something that makes me feel so excited. Moving away was exciting but absolutely blooming terrifying. I needed to do it and I'm glad I did and over time I am sure it will turn me into the person I should and want to be. Here's to university turning me into a teacher!
One major thing for me was FAME! I got to be a principle and play a character very close to my own persona, but seriously I really don't eat as much as Mabel. I delved into a whole new style of singing and loved it. I stepped out of my shell when finally on stage by adding movement rather than just standing and swaying in the back. Don't get me wrong I love swaying on any stage but to be at the front made me proud with excitement. My top moment of those 4 days was the curtain down on the last performance. I was already crying just as the finale began and was battling back tears so I could see during the last moments of choreography. But once the bows were over and we froze, allowing the curtain to come down one last time. I stopped, centered myself, took one breath, and turned straight to one of my best and most loyal friends. There were no words, we fell into the tightest hug and sobbed, it was one of the most special moments in my life and I miss her very much when I am away. Nobody could have changed how I felt. It was like one of those magic moments in a movie when there is pure bliss and everything goes silent but the energy of that moment continues. Silent happiness.
I learnt how to drive and passed both my tests first time. I completed all my college courses even though there were teachers who doubted I could even pass let alone move on to University to do my dream job. They doubted me which is probably one reason why I doubt myself. But my college tutor really pushed me to do my best and I miss her very much. Apart from my parents she has been the one person who strived to make me do my best for me! To make sure I was doing what I wanted and that I was loving it. I was always be in debt to her as the reason I have got where I am today and I wish I had told her more. She is probably one of the people who has seen me cry the most.
I went through some hard times this year. I think I'm ready to talk about. around About the summertime I begun counselling. It didn't last a huge amount of time and at the moment I don't need to see anyone but I needed guidance. Those around me thought there was something wrong with how I learnt which jeopardised my dreams of being a teacher and there were mentions of depression. I do not think I was ever depressed I just have very negative thoughts. When left alone I always seem to imagine the worst. I thought those who were my friends hated me, that they talked about me behind my back. Whilst at Uni these past few months I have begun experiencing panic attacks and the negative thoughts continued which is why I started this blog and it has helped a lot. Some people say I am too personal on here but if you really know me you'll know I could tell you just about everything about me if you let me.
I have nothing to hide plain and simple. I write so much thinking nobody will read this whole thing, and I don't mind. I write it for me, anyone who reads it and gets enjoyment from it is just a bonus in my eyes.
I will leave resolutions for another time as I know I will most certainly break them. Please leave me comments or send me a message I love reading them and hearing what people think of my writing. Id rather that than silent readers.
Thank you for being here, please continue to read on next year.
Goodnight.
Monday, 9 December 2013
Missing part 2
The
bus stop was a cold dark place Collete came to contemplate the day.
Not only by setting but the inner thoughts she had whilst sitting
there. This particular night he appeared almost like a vision before
passing like a mirage. At first it felt as if he had been sent to
drag her beyond the shadow she called life but before she could even
stumble to her feet he was gone. Overtaken by intoxication and
despair Collete fell to the floor for a quiet nap. Awaking to the
new morning brought an intense pain filling her head with ideas and
sensations she had learnt to enjoy over the years. Pulling herself to
her feet people passed her giving no guidance or time. Men walked
past their eyes embedded in her bosom whilst women whispered sharp
criticism under their breath, boutique bags stuffed under their arms
from their most recent hunt. Children were pulled away by protective
guardians leaving Collete in a bubble of emptiness.
Looking
back into times filled with happiness would be short lived for I can
only tell you the truth. At the age of 11 her parents fought like
savage felines, criticising again and again at every opportunity
until they became alpha. The problem being there could only be one in
command so they went their separate ways her father leaving in the
night with only a kiss and a small felt heart cushion.
It
wasn't pleasant but not many divorces are. Why else would two people
break apart and promising to love their partner unconditionally until
death do they part. You can imagine how Collete's disappointment
deepened due to the length of time the feud continued. The funeral
took place only two weeks later. Collete with her mother by her side
sobbed softly. Her mother balling into tissue upon tissue. The dark
mahogany coffin lined with fine silk and intricately detailed with
silver embellishment, was lowered into the plot. Above it a wreath
laden with lillies and ivy all intertwined with blood red roses.
Another spelling out 'Dad' made of carnations, the colour determined
by Collete. They were a sunny yellow as he was always smiling and it
also reminded her of a wollen jumper vest he wore on special
occasions such as her birthday or trips to the theatre. Her mother's
deterioration was more prolonged...
To
be continued...
Monday, 2 December 2013
Catch Up
Heya,
I realise it has been a complete forever since I wrote on here but gimme a break I've been busy. I am at university for goodness sakes. Anyway no joke for the past 3 weeks I have been on my first school placement as a trainee teacher. It was really rewarding and I cant wait to keep doing it again and again until I finally have my own class.
Over the past month I have done some awesome things but one of the main things that sticks out in my mind is meeting my little brother for his 16th birthday!! What?! How is this possible, I am stunned enough by the thought of my own age but seeing my brother reach 16 is weird as I remember just how grown up I felt then and what it was like to be 16 at last.
I believed I was soooo grown up but now I'm almost 20, 16 feels like nothing. I thought I knew everything and nothing but oh boy did life surprise me. I have had to face bereavement, loss, love and friendships in ways I never thought could happen. You may feel grown up now but the truth is I was still just a child. Scary thoughts right??
Oh yeah my brothers birthday was so lovely, we met in London, me my mum and dad. My brother was in his dance lesson and me and the family went shopping in Westfield. It was amazing! I wasn't feeling very well so couldn't appreciate the full affect of it all but children so tend to carry bugs so its kind of part of the job to be ill every now and again. Gave him my present over dinner which he liked so I'm super pleased about before getting the train home feeling gross.
Now I have a few little stories:
Quiet coaches on trains mean no talking right? so why come into a coach and talk super loud the whole way back when the person opposite is trying to listen to quiet music whilst reading a book (was Matilda by the way!).
It never gets any easier saying goodbye. I was waiting at the underground after leaving my parents seconds ago and I was a little chocked up but I held it. Until I noticed we were getting the same underground line in opposite directions from the same platform. Their train arrived they got on and I saw the train pull away. It is very hard not to cry in a very public space without feeling like an idiot. I cant look when they leave I have to turn away. My dad has told me that he told this to my mum when she saw I wasn't waving goodbye. It breaks my heart but even now I'm welling up thinking about my family back home. I count the days until I see them again and although I love university all I want is to be home again. I can not wait for Christmas to come so I can spend a month with my family, then maybe I will be able to cope better for the rest of the year.
Wow that got chattery and emotional. I have been away a while so there would be tonnes to chat up on but I think that is enough for now. I can always talk about more another time. Thanks for continuing to read if any of you are still there. Please leave me a comment to let me know how you think I'm doing or about anything you want me to talk about. Thanx
Goodnight.
I realise it has been a complete forever since I wrote on here but gimme a break I've been busy. I am at university for goodness sakes. Anyway no joke for the past 3 weeks I have been on my first school placement as a trainee teacher. It was really rewarding and I cant wait to keep doing it again and again until I finally have my own class.
Over the past month I have done some awesome things but one of the main things that sticks out in my mind is meeting my little brother for his 16th birthday!! What?! How is this possible, I am stunned enough by the thought of my own age but seeing my brother reach 16 is weird as I remember just how grown up I felt then and what it was like to be 16 at last.
I believed I was soooo grown up but now I'm almost 20, 16 feels like nothing. I thought I knew everything and nothing but oh boy did life surprise me. I have had to face bereavement, loss, love and friendships in ways I never thought could happen. You may feel grown up now but the truth is I was still just a child. Scary thoughts right??
Oh yeah my brothers birthday was so lovely, we met in London, me my mum and dad. My brother was in his dance lesson and me and the family went shopping in Westfield. It was amazing! I wasn't feeling very well so couldn't appreciate the full affect of it all but children so tend to carry bugs so its kind of part of the job to be ill every now and again. Gave him my present over dinner which he liked so I'm super pleased about before getting the train home feeling gross.
Now I have a few little stories:
Quiet coaches on trains mean no talking right? so why come into a coach and talk super loud the whole way back when the person opposite is trying to listen to quiet music whilst reading a book (was Matilda by the way!).
It never gets any easier saying goodbye. I was waiting at the underground after leaving my parents seconds ago and I was a little chocked up but I held it. Until I noticed we were getting the same underground line in opposite directions from the same platform. Their train arrived they got on and I saw the train pull away. It is very hard not to cry in a very public space without feeling like an idiot. I cant look when they leave I have to turn away. My dad has told me that he told this to my mum when she saw I wasn't waving goodbye. It breaks my heart but even now I'm welling up thinking about my family back home. I count the days until I see them again and although I love university all I want is to be home again. I can not wait for Christmas to come so I can spend a month with my family, then maybe I will be able to cope better for the rest of the year.
Wow that got chattery and emotional. I have been away a while so there would be tonnes to chat up on but I think that is enough for now. I can always talk about more another time. Thanks for continuing to read if any of you are still there. Please leave me a comment to let me know how you think I'm doing or about anything you want me to talk about. Thanx
Goodnight.
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